Katrina,
chat room cheating is a real big issue with me. my husband was talking online with a woman, and i use that term loosely, and also talking to her on the phone. i caught him in 1999. he said he would never speak to her again. yeah, right. i caught him again a year later and that was it. he was told it was over or he was to get out. he promised he would never talk to her again. well, there's never any way to be sure that he wouldn't so i snooped on his computer. there's a program you can download at kazaa called spy agent that records every keystroke. it captures the screen every few second. you can get their passwords and user names. well, to make a long story short, i called her, with her husband on the other line, and told her if she ever called or talked to him again i would be on her doorstep and she would just have to face the consequences. i didn't find anything after that on his computer. about a year later he was emailed from someone saying that she had died in a car accident. happiest day of my life. i can only hope that she didn't die fast, but a truck kind of takes all the relief out of it. once they cheat, there's no guarantee. it's been over a year since she died and i'm at the point where i don't know if i can stay here any longer. i may just go out one day and not come back. we have grown children, so it's not them. they actually told me that i should throw him out. i'm not sure what i'm going to do at this point. i've been looking for another job in another state. just not sure i can do this any more. if you feel that ending it would be better for you at this point, then do it before it becomes unbearable. he's tried to make it up to me, gives me anything that i want, but security is what i need and he took that away. at this point things can only get better, because they can't get any worse, but i don't have the patience to wait for that. i wish you all the luck in the world to make the right decision for yourself.