Female Profile words:
CODE WORD USED = WHAT IT REALLY MEANS
Age 22 =Age 14
Age 40-ish = Age 49
38dd-22-34 = Its a guy ..... run away now !!!!!!!!!
Adventurous = Has had more partners than you ever will
Affectionate = Possessive
Artist = Unreliable
Athletic = Flat chested
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Commitment-minded = Pick out curtains, now!
Communication important = Just try to get a word in edgewise
Contagious Smile = Bring your penicillin
Educated = College dropout
Emotionally Secure = Medicated
Employed = Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoys art and opera = Snob
Enjoys Nature = Bring your own granola
Exotic Beauty = Would frighten a Martian
Feminist = Fat; ball buster
Free spirit = Substance abuser
Friendship first = Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun = Annoying
Gentle = Comatose
Good Listener = Borderline Autistic
Humorous = Caustic
Intuitive = Your opinion doesn't count
In Transition = Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills
Light drinker = Lush
Looks younger = If viewed from far away in bad light after a Six-pack of Schlitz Malt Liquor
Loves Travel = If you're paying
Loves Animals = Its The Cat Lady!
Mature = Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did
Mature = Old
Non-tradional = Ex-husband lives in the basement
Old-fashioned = Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud
Passionate = Loud
Petite = Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins
Poet = Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional = Bitch
Redhead = Shops on the Clairol aisle
Reliable = Frumpy
Reubenesque = Grossly Fat
Romantic = Looks better by candle light (after a 6-pack)
Self-employed = Jobless
Smart = Insipid
Special = Rode the short schoolbus
Spiritual = Involved with a cult
Stable = Boring
Tall, thin = Anorexic
Tan = Wrinkled
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Weight proportional to height = Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate = One small step away from stalking
Widow = Nagged first husband to death
Writer = Pompous
Young at heart = Toothless crone
Hmmmm... I am looking for:
Age 30 (> 14 and < 49)
Affectionate (OK I like possessive, SUE me)
Athletic (Ohhhhh Yes PLEASE)
Commitment minded (Well *I* am not pickin curtains, but u can)
Enjoys art&Opera (Who said snob was bad?)
Fun (Y'all are annoying, as are us malez)
Humorous (Sarcasm??? WHERE?)
Light to moderate drinker (MAJOR LUSH!)
Loves Animals (I said LOVE, not LUST)
Outgoing *AND* Passionate (nuf said)
Tall, thin (Make that "OH WOW")
Wants soulmate (STALK me already)
BTW, who left out:
LOVING (Overbearing)
Ambitious (Gold Digger)
Joy to be with (Arkansas elementary teacher / adultress [She MAY be teaching YOUR poor babies, be warned])
Slut (Just made out with a good friend of yours)
BIG slut (Did the whole TEAM before she went home to hubby)
OK, I digressed
