Male Versions:
CODE WORD USED = WHAT IT REALLY MEANS
40-ish = 52 and looking for a 25 year-old
10" rock hard = 4" and leans to one side
Affectionate = Needy and looking for mother-figure
Artist = Delicate ego badly in need of massage
Athletic = Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking = Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Distinguished-looking = Fat, gray, and bald
Educated = Will always treat you like an idiot
Employed = On management track at Radio Shack
Financially Secure = I will spend some money on you, in return for which I will expect you
to obey my every whim for the duration of your mortal life.
Free Spirit = Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first = As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun = Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking = Arrogant bastard
Honest = Pathological Liar
Huggable = Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
ISO Slim, attractive female = Would be better off with a labrador retriever
Light drinker = Headed for AA
Like to cuddle = Insecure, overly dependent
Like romantic walks on the beach = read Cosmo and think this is what you want to hear
until you get to know him
Mature = Old
Open-minded = Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit = I spend a lot of time in front of mirrors admiring myself
Poet = Once wrote on a bathroom stall while constipated
Professional = Owns a white button down shirt
Reliable = Shows up on time--give or take 3 hours
Self-employed = Same as for women and eat nachos all weekend
Sensitive = Needy
Smart = Thinks Cheers is "the wittiest show ever on TV"
Spiritual = Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter
Stable = Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful = Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Virile = Can read 3 Penthouse Forums without passing out
Young at heart = Pedophile
